The Heart of the Matter
by xoxolindsay
Summary: She watched as he slowly moved back and walked out the door. She stood there, frozen. She wasn't sure how long, but she willed herself not to break down and cry. She wasn't really sure what happened yet.


**CHAPTER 1: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT**

" _Damn it!_ " She quickly sat up, gripping the warm fleece blanket up to her chest, searching around the bedroom for the screeching alarm clock she knows all too well. It rested on the exact same spot as always: beside her on the nightstand.

With a hurried hand, she shut off the screeching and jumped off the bed, grabbing the dress she'd worn the night before from the floor and shimmying into it before the man in bed woke up. "Ugh!" She whispered frustratingly as she failed to zip the button behind her dress all the way up.

She made her way to the bedroom door and slowly opened it, entering the living room with her bare feet, making sure she shut the door behind her as quietly as she could.

"Late night?" Her roommate's voice rose from the kitchen, along with the sound of a pan positioning itself on top of the stove.

Brooke Davis whirled around quickly, making a shushing sound and whispering loudly, "Nathan, _not now_."

He chuckled as he grabbed two plates, one for him and one for her, preparing the usual Sunday morning breakfast: mushroom and veggie omelets with waffles. Brooke sat down at the dining table, sighing as she did so, "My head is killing me." She placed her head in her hands as she shut her eyes repeatedly in an attempt to make the pain go away.

"Drinking too much will do that to you," Nathan Scott responded, an amused grin on his face as he continued to make breakfast.

"No kidding," Brooke looked up, brushing her hair with her hands to make her look presentable in front of another human being, "I really only meant to have dinner with him. He's been hounding me for months, so I thought why not?"

"Sure, that's fine and all. It's really none of my business," Nathan replied, "But why are you wearing what you wore last night? You live here. You shouldn't be the one doing the walk of shame."

"Hmm,'" Brooke squinted her eyes at the realization, "You have a point."

Nathan was even more amused at this point, "So, should I grab a third plate then?" He handed her a plate.

Brooke stood up quickly, "No. I'm gonna…." she reached for the plate and walked to the staircase leading upstairs, "eat my breakfast in your bedroom!"

"What? Brooke!" Nathan leaned over the kitchen counter to call out to her, but she rushed up the stairs so quickly all he could get a glimpse of is the sight of her dress halfway zipped in the back.

No more than a few seconds later, his phone on the kitchen counter dinged:

 _Brooke: Can you tell him to leave?_

 _Nathan: Don't you have to see him again?_

 _Brooke: Well…sorta? I work with his sister, so I can just avoid her._

 _Nathan: That's reasonable._

 _Brooke: PLEASE?! This wasn't even supposed to happen. Brooke Davis does NOT have one night stands AND she doesn't have SEX on the first date…or whatever that was last night!_

 _Nathan: OKAY RELAX!_

Nathan put his down. He turned off the stove and marched his way to the bedroom door next to the bottom of the staircase. He opened the door to find the dark-haired man fast asleep in her bed, completely oblivious about the fact he was about to get tossed out.

-x-

"Thanks for doing that," Brooke laid on Nathan's bed, still wearing her half-zipped dress, her legs crossed at the ankles as she flipped through TV channels, "I just….I couldn't. Too weird. Too awkward. Too _high school_ Brooke Davis. I hadn't done that in too long."

Nathan grabbed a towel from his bathroom, "Don't go back to that girl, Brooke." He opened the bathroom door and turned to look back at her, "Maybe it would be a good idea for you to call Dean?"

"Yeah right," Brooke scoffed and rolled her eyes, "He's the last person I want to have anything to do with."

"Just a suggestion," He entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him, "I'm hanging out with Haley today so you're on your own with your pity party."

Brooked rolled her eyes again. She continued to flip through TV channels, not satisfied with anything showing. Truth be told, she wasn't even sure if she was mindful of what she was doing. Clicking the channel button was just something to do. She settled on the Lifetime Movie Channel.

She picked up her phone beside her on the bed, scrolled through her contacts list until the name Dean Winchester appeared. She hovered her finger over the call button, before putting it back down on the bed, groaning in frustration. _No, you're not calling him. You're gonna start over, Brooke. You're gonna get through this._

This was gonna be her new mantra. That she could get through this. _This_. This was what she hated. Time alone, by herself, thinking of what was and what could've been. She could barely hear the TV. She could barely hear the shower running behind the closed bathroom door. All she could hear was her heart beating. She wasn't sure if it was getting louder, but it was becoming deafening.

She sat on Nathan's bed, suddenly pissed off at the world. _You're gonna get through this_.

Her mind went back to two months ago. It was September 2nd. She remembered that day clearly. She walked into her own condo, laid her purse on the couch, and Dean walked in from the guest bedroom with his phone in his hand and a dismayed look on his face.

He had just gotten off the phone with his brother, Sam. They had to leave tonight to " _go on a job._ " She always thought it was kind of stupid the way he'd say that. _Go on a job_. At that time, she'd only known Dean for six months after meeting him at a bar, but things moved quickly between them. She never thought she'd fall for a guy she met at a bar. Let alone a guy who didn't really have a job, but went on jobs. Whatever that means.

Nonetheless, he'd come and go. But when he'd come, he was welcome to stay at her place. Sometimes, his brother Sam would be there as well. Brooke never drilled them about what they did. What these jobs were. She was _happy_ , strangely enough. It was almost a blessing that he'd be gone.

Running her own clothing franchise, she was busy. So when Dean wasn't around, she certainly got a lot of work done. When he was around, even for a couple days or so, they'd have an amazing time together.

But that night, on September 2nd, he said he couldn't do it anymore. He had to go on a job with Sam and he wasn't sure if they would come back. Brooke laughed at that. They would always come back. _Dean_ would always come back.

She remembered him walking up to her, putting his hand on her face, brushing a strand of hair and tucking it behind her ear, "I'm saying goodbye."

Brooke was livid. Her chest was pounding. Her face got hot. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She pleaded with her eyes for him to not leave. But she shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again, "Okay."

Okay. OKAY. _Okay?!_

That was all she could come up with? She stood there as Dean gave her a kiss on the forehead. _On the forehead!_ She watched as he slowly moved back and walked out the door. She stood there, frozen. She wasn't sure how long, but she willed herself not to break down and cry. She wasn't really sure what happened yet.

The only thing she knew for sure was she wasn't going to beg him to stay. She wasn't going to ask him to choose her. She wasn't going to ask him to fight for her. She'd already done that. That was _high school_ Brooke Davis. She was never going to be that girl again.


End file.
